Finding Love….or the Perfect Challenger?

You know often throughout life you hear people say “I want to find love” or “I need to find a man/woman to bring love into my life”. Now I’m not going to say I’ve never said these things but when I got to thinking about it, it doesn’t really make sense. What does finding a man (and for those guys what does finding a woman) have to do with finding love?

So here I sit 1:00 a.m. trying to align my thoughts that just fell down in a jumble instead of letting me sleep like I had planned. Oh well….

<3

So, Love. It’s a feeling given to every person from the time they are born (i.e. created…yes that’s in the womb people), I say this because even if you had a horrible childhood or are suffering now you are still loved by God the eternal father and lover, Romans 8: 38-40 

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Times may be tough but there is love; which brought me to my other thought."

I don’t think I really need to find a man to find love; I mean I have plenty of love right now. Love of my parents, of my brother and sisters, family, friends, and church family. Then again I have the eternal love of God, so why do I look so hard for someone to physically love me? Do I not have enough love already?  Am I really that selfish? Why can’t I be happy with the love I have and in exchange try to change this cold heart of mine and give love? After asking myself this question I wasn’t sure of my answer; it was then that I decided to change my thoughts on the ‘love’ I was looking for. You know the sappy roses and heartfelt confessions.

So, I was looking for a man to love everything about me…to love all my faults and fears…you know take me as I am the good and the bad; to grow old together, however how is that going to help me?  Do I really just want someone to take me like I am now, no questions asked? So then I thought….

Instead of looking for someone to ‘love me’ why don’t I look for someone that makes me want to be better? To me when I look at successful relationships I see something between them like a challenge, a dare….to become better. A wife will want to become a better cook, a husband a better repair man…that sort of thing. That got me thinking, I wonder if the reason when people say their hearts a flutter when they found the ‘one’ is because their inner self recognizes the one person that puts up a challenge?

Now I could be wrong but instead of looking for ‘love’, which is something I already have plenty of. I want to find a man that makes me want to become better. To become less selfish, more caring….someone that drives me to learn to cook, eat healthy, and become a better person in general.

Some say that drive is just the feeling of puppy love and that often after time the desire to impress the other fades away, thus leading to a plateau; but to me this just confirms my ideas. Someone that finds the one they are meant to be with (their perfect challenger) will always have that drive to impress….to challenge. It may not be the same as before but it will be there. 

So I’ve decided I want someone that not only pushes me to reach my potential but also understands my childlike tendencies and joins me in them, who brings me from my shy behavior, and someone who can support/challenge me to become the Godly woman I am to be. That will be the man I decided to Love. ^_^

What about you? What are your thoughts? Do you challenge your partner?

Until next time Ciao Ciao

Jasmine