I'm not sure if it's normal, (and I totally accept if its not....what can I say I am a bit weird) but I have quite an imagination filled with violence, and if my recent dreams can be considered as proof, my poor pillows can be witnesses. Now I don't like to think of myself as a dark and violent person but sometimes my imagination gives me the impression that if I were to ever let my 'worldly sinful self' take reign I would be just that. The fact that I can easily see it, causes me great worry at times, especially when I'm angry and get this overwhelming urge to just 'let go' at people.
Again I don't know if this is a concern many others see in themselves, and while those at work would agree I can be an 'mean' person (*rolls my eyes* making you work how your suppose to isn't being mean... its my job); others I know can't seem to imagine me being as cruel and violent as my imagination paints me.
Then again many people say that one's imagination, if controlled correctly, will never be reflected in one's reality. It will simply remain a separate part of that person, never inflicting its rules, morals, or actions on its owner. However, I've always felt that if you think of something repeatedly, eventually it will make it into your life. (For example....if you think about brownies...in most cases you will eventually break down and buy some).
Which brings me to my other thought, writers who write the horrid, violent, dark, and messed up stories, do they worry that one day their imagination will overrun their reality and leave them crazed, locked in the darkness...their own mind a cage that traps them? (I know I would hate to be Stephen King if that happened all the time O_o)
I personally have found that outlets help to keep my sanity....such as writing and drawing. However, this leaves me with a gallery of images/writings such as:
 | |
| Miss Murder & Muse - my poor characters |
Be Silent
Still your lips, stop your lies
Whilst I avert my eyes
Give me peace you heathen child
No more shall you go wild
Least I stitch each to your soul
Or pour your blood into a bowl
Yet speak one word again to me
And I will stitch you to a tree.
 |
| Akira |
The dreams are frantic
panicked, cruel
Never a moment to rest
Yet somehow when I am next to you
sleep is at its best.
In the darkness I wait to see
your body lying next to me
whether it's cold
and still with death
or warm
and excited with my breath
your prone form I beg to see
lying next, oh next to me
-----
Now granted I don't believe I will ever be able to actually stitch someones lips together, or even sit next to a dead body.....but the fact that my imagination conjures it up as if I was just chatting it up with people makes me pause and reflect a bit.
Okay now that I have fully freaked you all out....let me ask: Is there something in your imagination that gives you worry. Some thought that seems to flow so naturally yet you are appalled it seems to have taken root so easily? Is your imagination ever at odds with your walk with God (I know everyone has something there).
Let me just throw out there:
Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. - Isaiah 55:7
For me, when the writing and drawing isn't enough, I'm blessed to have God be the one that helps 'hold me back' and 'hold my tongue'; though he does allow the occasional fall flat on my face and foot in mouth occurrence, when I don't do as he says. Some of us just have to learn the hard way. *sigh*
